Saturday, July 2, 2011

Boardwalk Fallen Empire 5k. (Find yo way-five k)

I'm sitting here watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians.  Kim is x-raying her butt to show that it's real on this episode.  Anyone can take off the butt pads for an x-ray, man.  I still think she's wearing padded bike shorts!  

This provides a good distraction from my mornin' race.  

Bad news:  I didn't PR.  I got kinda lost.
Good news:  I won the "race".  And gave $30 to charity.  
Confusing news:  I'm not sure it was actually a race...or a 5k.  Also, I definitely spent $30 to run down the crowded Santa Monica pedestrian path and almost get hit by several bikes.

That'll teach me to get sassy on this blog and say stuff like  "Hey screw all the peds and 90% likelihood that this race is gonna suck, I'm awesome and def PRing'.    
Here is my story, yo....

Got up at 5:45.  Mentally cursed at my alarming I-phone. Drove an hour up to SM, parked and walked to "Perrys" which is on the Santa Monica Beach path.  

I was a bit alarmed to see that no one was there.   There was one semi disheveled man standing nearby.  I thought "This must be the race director!".  
Then he started rooting through the trash dumpster.  Homeless race director?

I looked down the beach path a bit and noticed there was an identical looking building down the road a bit with a few people milling around.  Ahhh...Perry's!

I jogged over there and a lady with a clipboard introduced herself as the race director.  She checked off my name, and I asked the same questions that I had asked in an unanswered email mid week:  "Are there mile markers"? . "No." 
And most importantly  "How will I know where to turn around?"  
Race director lady showed me a picture of the "turnaround point".  There would be a playground and a man in a green shirt at the turnaround point.  
Have ya ever been to the Santa Monica boardwalk?  uh yeah dude.  There're a lot of playgrounds and people in green shirts there.  

Race director said "ready...go" to me and the 20 other random people, half of which are teenagers in basketball shoes.  I quickly went to the front.  
This is as close to an "adventure race" as I've gotten.   Obstacle course time!  I almost got hit by a couple bikes, dodged tons of walkers and tourists.   About 8 minutes in, I saw a small playground and a dude with a dog in a green shirt.  

It wasn't this bad but you get the idea
"This must be the turnaround point!"

In retrospect, this was stupid.  I knew that the turnaround place was halfway of the race distance.  And unless I was on pace for a 16 minute 5k, there's no way that was the turnaround point.  But...I can't think when I run.  And possibly can't think when I don't run as well. 

After about 20 seconds of running back, I realized my error, turned back around, backtracked and ran a couple more minutes.  
When I passed the dude with the dog again I yelled to him "are you the turn around point?".  
This dude probably thought it was totally normal someone was yelling at him nonsensically.  The beaches of So Cal be full of crazies.   

I figured, " this point, who cares where the little green man from mars is".  
Sweet.  I turned around.  11 minutes at the halfway point.  A 22 minute 5k was not exactly what I had in mind going into this.  

This woulda been nice
I took a random curvy beach path back most of the way accidentally instead of the straight path, and finished the race.  Total time was something like 21:30 on my watch.  

The two teenage dudes who finished after me asked the race director if they were supposed to take the straight road or the curvy path back.  She said " doesn't matter...I mean they are about the same, right?".  
This woman clearly is not a runner!  

Bottom line, I was way too desperate to find a 5k this morning.  Who knows if this route was even a 5k. All I know is that these peeps need some chalk and cones. I'm going to run the Huntington Beach 5k on Monday!  The Pam-ster is doing it too!  
That's right, I'm stealin' her from Skinny Runner.  :)

And yeah, I know that when my biggest problems are that a beautiful run on the beach isn't marked, things ain't so bad :). 

On another note, check out Monika's blog.  She's cool.  

A couple questions for ya:
1) What's the most logistically bad or good race you've been in?
2) Is it cool if I ride 30 miles tomorrow on the bike (I'm not in great biking shape) and race Monday?  Or should I take the day off...


  1. Haaahahahaaaa. Best 5k recap ever. I love that nothing is thought to be weird in LA.

    Ps, email me @ the address on my blog! I wanted to email you and can't find contact info ;).

  2. homeless race director <---- love this! can u imagine some hobo just putting on some big fake race just to score some money? umm, actually from ur account that may not be too far from the truth.

    okay, i'm willing to bet that the race course may or may not have even been very accurate so not even counting the time u lost on the faux turn-around don't even sweat the time.

    got ur email and will get back fully later, but wanted to say that if u want my opinion: if u plan on racing on monday then skip the bike ride. if u want to do something do a super short easy run/shake-out (go easy tho!) then get ur stretch on.

    as bad as the race was, it certainly makes for a funny we'll all laugh at ur expense. ;) jk.

  3. You'll have a better race on Monday! ;)

    Can't believe the race director said "it doesn't matter..." WOW! At least it was 4 charity!! :)

    I think if you really want to go 4 a PR on Monday maybe you should skip the bike ride and go out for an easy run tomorrow instead or rest?! Only because you said you're "not in great biking shape." Maybe you'll fatigue your legs too much to run well on Monday.

    Anyways, girl see you on Monday! It's going to be a lot of fun!! Very organized, well run race!! :)

  4. "Oh hey, what's in this trash can? Let me see if I can find some race medals to give out. Oh and a bonus of a banana peel!"

    I would have been annoyed about the race being so nutty-- it's difficult to tell what exactly to expect with small races, but I've never heard of something like that.

    At least you can do a real 5k on Monday, have fun!

    I'm also going for a bike ride today, Tappan's whipping his old Cervelo from storage.

    And I agree, if you want to PR tomorrow, I'd maybe go for a slow cruise bike ride, maybe not push it.

  5. Of course that's what would happen in Santa Monica. That's probably the craziest race story I've read. Have fun at your 5k on Monday! Houston is too dang hot to run a race right now. :(

  6. ahhh I can't believe this happened! I have one race like this where there was no markings at all and just a motorcycle cop directing the runners. The first runner finished in 16 minutes so the rest of us either got lost, cheated, or ran long. Ahhh it was an absolute mess.

    At least you can laugh about it now. :) Better luck Monday girl!

  7. That cracked me up!! I sort of feel sorry for that race director. But I'm glad you won. I'm not racing tomorrow. I'm just going to run, and then take my kids to fireworks for the first time. :^)

  8. ahhhhh!!! what a crazy race! it totally sounds like kind of a hilarious experience though! haha!

    good luck at the next 5k!

    Rachelle and I totally ran a crazy 5k that was not marked last Fall. We both got lost but she got the worst of it...she was way out in front but the lead guy was so fast so the only thing keeping us on track was the ONE cop car up with the lead guy. she lost him and that got even more lost. It was terrible! but at least a good story :)

  9. Hahaha what an awesome 5k story! I wonder if anyone on the strip knew you were racing or just assumed you were running for the purpose of running.

    Thanks so much for the mention!! Maybe I'll draw in some new readers :)