Sunday, June 5, 2011

Fontana 13.1: I'm a Logistical Fool / My Vendetta Against Lululemon

Hey!  I've been delaying writing this report because I can't put my finger on the disappointment I feel in myself.
You're gonna kill me for saying that because I ran a 1:33:15*.  

BIG ASTERISK!  I just spent 2 minutes trying to figure out how to spell "asterisk"!  Who knew?  =)

Before you bring me the olive wreath of victory, remember this race had a 2000 ft drop.  I had no idea how powerful that was...but believe me it's huge.  It's like I was golfing and got a 6 minute handicap.  

Whew.  Now that we've gotten that out of the way I'll do the recap.  It'll be funny, I swear.  

4 AM happiness and beauty
My alarm went off at 4:00 AM and I looked at my phone alarm with pure anger.  I remember waking up at like 3:30 AM and thinking I'd get some water to drink (I'm kind of an insomniac) and realizing with horror my wakeup time was a half hour from then!


I put the race address into my phone, was pleasantly surprised that Fontana wasn't as far as I thought it was, and took off.  I got to my exit off I-10 and had a few extra minutes so I went to use the bathroom in McDonald's right by the race to avoid any race crowds.  As I got back into my car I thought...wait a second...something isn't right....where is everyone....

I look back in my phone and realize that I've driven to the wrong town.  I accidentally drove to Upland...the iphone directed me to a similar address.  Fontana is 16 miles down the road.  I had like 10 minutes left in packet pickup.

Fun fact.  These towns are close to Chino.  Where Ryan from the O.C. was from.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, please ignore and don't 'un-friend'.  

I got to packet pickup a few minutes late - 6:05 and ran into ChaCha and Sarah -OUAL as they were in line for the bus.  I said the world's quickest hello and then begged the ladies at the packet pickup to give me my number.  I didn't get a race t-shirt, but I didn't want to push my luck by asking.

I got on the big yellow school bus and met two really cool ladies.  Mimi and I can't remember the second lady's name.  Mimi wanted to break 2 hours and I stalked her time later and saw that she ran a 1:55.  woo hoo!

As the race started I saw these two ridiculous ladies in front of me.  They were wearing matching lululemon tight booty shorts and sports bras.  For many unreasonable and cranky reasons, I wanted to smack them for wearing such ridiculous outfits.  I passed them with pleasure  (these two characters show up in the story later...dum dum dum...).   I also passed another skinny blonde girl in a $200 lululemon outfit as well.  Let me explain myself.  I love lululemon...their stuff is awesome.  I just want to beat everyone who wears it in races.  I'm probably just jealous :).

Mile 1:  6:36.  Whaattttt?  Totally downhill but I still must be insane.

Mile 3:  20:30ish

Mile 6.2....some sort of fake 10k PR....

Mile 10:  69:00.  I was running with the same group of people and trying to hang with them.
This is getting ridiculous.  I don't think I'm slow, but I know I'm not capable of clicking off 10 sub 7 miles with ease on a real course.  Unfortunately, reality set in relatively soon.

At mile 11, I got a side cramp.  Probably from the extreme jostling and cherry sports beans I'd been chomping on.  And from the ridiculous pace I started at.

I tried every technique in the book to get rid of the cramp.  Standing straighter, breathing deeper, even waving my hands over my head in the air.  It must have been a sight.

A good 8 women must have passed me.  The dude who I was talking to at the start passed me.  THE LULULEMON TWINS PASSED ME!!!!  NOoooooooo!  I was majorly demoralized.

I passed the race photographer around mile 12 and made a peace sign to him...posing.  I realized later, my race number on my sports bra was covered by my shirt and made it look like I was banditing.  Photo-man must have thought I was a nut.  

Anyways, the last two miles I ran were more like 8 minutes and I finished.  1:33:15.  Still a major PR but like I said, this was the fastest easiest course ever.

As I walked to the snack stand, a dude who I recognized from the race came up to me.  He said in a hilarious accent "Heeeyyy...what were with us the whole way and then it was like you stopped movvvinnngggg."  I know I know.  He finished in like 1:29.  

I saw Once Upon A Lime and ChaCha after the race too and they had both PR'd!  Congrats!

As I went to my car, I realized, I had no real idea where I had parked it.  I spent my last moments in Fontana searching the streets...wondering where I left my car...and my brain that morning.


I hope you don't think I'm overly crabby from this post - I had a wonderful time in Fontana.
1) I am SO happy to have run this time - even on a cheat course like this.  
2) This race was run so well for a small half.  I'd recommend it to anyone!
3)  I've now got NYC qualifying which was my goal. 
3)  Those lululemon girls are probably really nice.  Maybe....


  1. Sweet race, glad you were able to get your race kit!

    I don't only a single piece of clothing from lululemon, just an old gym bag that's on it's last legs.

  2. FANTASTIC time!

    Sorry about the side stitch, those are just impossible, what a nightmare.

    But anyway, congrats on the NYC marathon qualifying time, that's huge!

  3. A pr is a pr regardless of the course :)

    Congrats on the awesome time! Yay for qualifying for NYC!!

  4. This is so funny. My last half I decided to play a game where I would sprint to pass every woman in pink. Ridiculous, especially because I wear pink all the time! Maybe I thought they would be easy targets?
    Seriously though, great time--CONGRATS!

  5. Cracking up!! I def have a bias against people who get all fancied up in matching designer clothes for races. Maybe I would too if I had people mailing me free samples all the time. At least, as you say, lululemon stuff is cute. Some of those argyle running skirts etc. out there are U-G-L-Y IMHO. But no one ever accused me of being fashionable in any context.

    That is a great time. You rock.

  6. I would have the same reaction to the lululemon twins. It's like sticking it to the man to outrun them. As if their $200 outfits can make them run faster. Even though they kicked my ass, looks like.

    Anyway, it was great meeting you! You kicked ass even if it's an easy course.

  7. ha ha love this post. You are so funny! Great job on the race. Seriously sometimes we deserve a litte downhill. :) You are speedy girl!

  8. Dear Fast Margs-Bunny,
    Cheat, hack, or proud new owner of a PR, at least you can run :p.

    Cranky friend with mysterious knee problem

    PS Once in a race I could not keep up with a lady running in fake French keds and jean shorts- not kidding!!

  9. hey girl, i've fallen into the exact same mental trap as you and being unhappy EVEN if you've gotten a PR. but it's NOT good because sometimes you need to cut yourself some slack and ENJOY an accomplishment! heck, if u followed the boston marathon this year, i'll guarantee you those guys who ran the fastest marathon time ever were freaking ecstatic even though becuz of the elevation drop they didn't 'officially' get the new WR. so take the PR, you DID run it!

    second...i'm totally with you on girls that dress to impress at races and focus more on looking good than racing good! power to you for kicking their spandex clad butts! ;)

  10. I probably would have thought the exact same thing about the women in lululemon, so don't worry, you're not alone!

    Seriously awesome race! I want to find one like that around here. I need a confidence boost after my last half!

  11. I don't know who buys lululemon clothes. They must have money trees I don't know about.

    sorry about your crazy morning, but even with a side stitch that is a great time.

    what the heck was that guy thinkin sayin "what happened to you?" punch the lululemon twins? i would have punched him! jk :)

  12. this is a fantastic race report- glad everything worked out for you (and woohoo for passing the lululemons!) oh, and GOOD JOB!!!!!

  13. Ha! I always point out those wearing lululemon at my gym (although I am secretly kind of jealous)

    What an amazing HM time..congrats!