Monday, January 28, 2013

A Brief Run-In with the Law

A quick update on running:  I'm running a half marathon this weekend.  I'm very unsure of how it will go.  Unfortunately, I have been very inconsistent lately.   I had two pretty decent workouts (a tempo run of 5 miles at 7:05 and 2x3200m at 6:45) followed by an attempt at a workout that I completely failed.  I was supposed to do 8 miles at goal half marathon pace (around 7:20?) and made it through about three miles before quitting and struggling to finish the run at easy pace.

I feel as though I have two different bodies showing up to workouts these days.  We'll see who shows up on Sunday.   Hopefully not the one that sucks.

Adventures with Law Enforcement

I've driven the same car since high school.  It's a 1999 Prism.  With 178k miles.  It's seen a thing or two. I refuse to get rid of my car despite the pleading of Anthony and the ridicule of others for a couple reasons.

1)  Why buy a new car when your old one still runs?
2)  $$
3)  It's been with me since I was a kid back and forth from Virginia to Texas, out to California, etc.  Silver bullet, I can't quit you.
4)  I kind of like the fact that I can put trash in it like old soda cans and not worry about messing anything up.  I keep a lot of random crap in the car.  It's embarrassing but not embarrassing enough to stop doing it.

Anyways,  just painting the background for the story - this is what I'm working with.

The other night, I was driving back from Seal Beach after having dinner with a friend.  I pulled off my exit in West LA with music blasting, happy to be almost home.  I looked in my rear view mirror and saw cops lights flashing. I got really nervous and and pulled over.  Was I speeding?  I didn't think's hard to even speed in my car if you want to anyways.

He asked for my registration  and I handed him an expired copy.  (I am also really bad about keeping updated copies of registration in my car.  It's partly out of protest because law enforcement can easily see if my car if registered in their system and it's partly out of laziness.  Either way, they never seem to care.).

"Your light is out".

Relief flooded over me.  Sweet.  I wasn't doing anything wrong, I can just get that fixed.  Something is always wrong with my car.

"Oh I'm sorry officer, which one?".  

"Your right front."

And then a question I wasn't quite expecting....

"Are you in trouble with the law a lot?"

I kind of snorted and said no.  What a weird question.  I got out of the car to see the light that was out and then saw that my front light wasn't out at all.  It was just a little dim.

I thought it was kind of lame to be pulled over for a headlight that was the same amount of brightness it had been for years, but I wasn't about to start an argument.  Then I noticed another cop out of the car who was shining his light in my front seat.  The flashlight was on all the old water / Nuun bottles I had been too lazy to clear out.  Shit.

I got back in my car and the first cop started talking to me again.

"Are you on any medication?".

"Uh no...".  (I briefly considered telling him about my BC and then thought that there was no reason to make things more awkward than they already were, as fun as that might be.)

"What about any head trauma?"

"No."  (Where is this going?  I can't believe my tax dollars are paying for this.)

"You know you have very enlarged pupils.  That's very common in users of Cocaine and Meth."

Uh what?

While I was tempted to tell him that I've recently started watching Breaking Bad and that I hadn't seen anything about enlarged pupils on the show, I kept quiet.  And then told him to give me any test he wanted to.  "I haven't even been drinking!".   I also tried to make some awkward conversation about the symptoms of drug use so that we could become friendly.  It did not work so then I told him that my eyes have always looked kind of wonky.

The guy decided shine a flashlight in my face for about 30 seconds to see if I was on something.  I busted out laughing about halfway through.  And then went back to looking at the bright light.

"Ok.  I believe you." said the Cop.  "We're just going to give you a fix-it ticket."

This is ridiculous given that my light is not out, but whatever.  

"Drive safe out there."

Uh ok.   I drove off.  That was certainly an unexpected experience but at least they didn't arrest me or something.

I know what I'll do the next time I get pulled over and randomly questioned about drug use though.   I've been watching enough Breaking Bad to have it down.

"License and registration?"

"You don't need that.  You know exactly who I am.  Now. Say my name." 


"You're Heisen-Marg?"

You're goddamn right.  


  1. I would have had to protest. And probably gotten myself in even more trouble. Even IF it was training, they could have told you that.

    I would hang on to the car as long as I could as well. You don't have to get something new just because you can.

    The Kidless Kronicles

  2. If your car still runs, use it. I've had mine for about the same length as you and I was just told that it is on it's way out. I'm completely devastated.

    I would loge a complaint about the officer.

  3. What the heck?! I would totally file a complaint about that police officer. That is awful!

  4. You are almost to the moon! Just a few thousand more miles to go. You can do it!

  5. that's really odd. good to see that those hard earned tax dollars are paying for the po-po to stop the right people.

  6. Wow what a really weird encounter!! I would have probably gotten really hostile and in more trouble :P Good luck this weekend!

  7. Head trauma. What. haaaa.

    Both of my cars are old as hell, and I don't care, I'm not replacing them until they DIE DEAD. One - the Stratus - is 14 yrs old and has 140k miles, it drove me here from Cali, and I took THE ENTIRE DOOR off once to fix the damn mirror a roommate knocked off, so there's no way in hell I'm getting rid of that car, maybe EVER.

  8. (applauds) Well done. Well done.

  9. I probably would have started laughing and ended up in jail. What.

  10. I'm not siding with the cop but it would be pointless to file a complaint. If your headlight was dim it was probable cause to pull you over. Guaranteed they thought something else was going on (drunk, drugs, stolen car, etc) and the headlight was an excuse to question you. It sucks, but it is legal.

    1. Yeah totally. I mean it was slightly annoying but it's not like I got thrown in jail. Plus I got a funny story out of it!

    2. And the story makes it totally worth it! I would have tried to start joking with them and they probably would have thrown me in jail.

  11. Wow that entire confrontation is crazy! I can't believe that happened to you! lol

  12. Haha, how bizarre! If that ever happens again (doubtful since it was so crazy in the first place) once the officer is done, I would ask for his/her card. If they ask you why, say you're going to contact their supervisor to lodge a complaint and find out if that was routine/necessary/etc. And that's exactly what I'd do with their card, too.

    Kudos on not getting arrested :)

  13. Ok I am dying reading this!! Were you swerving all over the road or something? I think you are the last person I would ever envision this happening to!!

  14. I literally laughed out loud reading this. It's funny and ridiculous all in one. You handled it well though, I think I would have either a) not been so calm or b) been so freaked by his questions that I wouldn't even know how to respond.