Monday, October 15, 2012

Trolling Trolling Trolling

Can we talk for a minute about how every woman's race is guilty of the worst stereotyping in the world? 

According to the world of running women like:

1) Chocolate!!!!
2) Giant Medals or Jewelry for average level completion of a task.
3) Princess costumes!!!! 

Women don't like: 
1) Competition.  No pressure, it's all about the fun!  Yay you finished.
2) Logistics.  It's ok if they suck!   

Women don't care about: 
1) Money!  Charge me $150 for a half marathon!   Sounds good to meeee!

I mean what the heck?  Is this really 2012?

On the same premise, if people made a race just for Greek people they would serve us Gyros and bad economic principles.  

Stereotyping at it's best!

Anyways I'll stop for now :).   Here's the main post.

Beach Path Surprise Tempo

Today, I went running on the beach path again.  I'm really enjoying running on the beach path around Venice.  It's really pretty.

I decided I wasn't up for a workout so I took the pace pretty easy.   About 40 minutes into the run, I came up upon some dudebro running along at maybe 10 minute pace wearing cargo shorts.  

I internally chuckled about how uncomfortable his fashion choice must be to run in, and passed him on the left, maybe at around 8:30 pace. 

I was surprised to see that about 30 seconds later, he sped up, came back out of my left and passed me back. 


I try to keep my competitiveness to a minimum on easy days, but a huge pet peeve of mine are dudes who clearly almost never run, who speed up so I can't pass them.   It's obnoxious.

So I figured I'd mess with him a little bit. 

 Instead of letting him go, or even passing him back, I stayed almost exactly 10 feet behind him.  For the first couple minutes he didn't notice anything.  Then he started looking behind him, and speeding up more, as an attempt to lose me. 

I kept my 10 foot distance.  My stride behind him went "Tap tap tap tap".

He quickened his stride further and started running the tangents of the curvy beach path.  I refused to run the tangents out of principle as I didn't want to appear to be racing.  My guess is that we were running about 7:15 / mile-ish.  Things had gotten serious. 

About 8 minutes into my trolling, the dudebro veered off the beach path onto the straighter pedestrian path a few yards to the left.  I think he figured he had a better chance of losing me on the straight path. 

So I decided to run exactly parallel to him, keeping his exact pace.  By now I'm pretty sure I was running 6:50 pace or so.   I was getting pretty tired, but I was confident I would win our silent war (or die trying!). 

A couple minutes down the road, the paths went to intersect, and dude bro almost ran exactly into me.  I turned and looked at him, exasperated and said "Do you want to race?". 

He was all like "Nah, it's not like that.". 

Suuurrreee it wasn't

And finally....I passed him and ran home to start my Monday morning.  On the plus side, I got in a good workout.  On the minus side, I'm kind of an overly competitive jerk. 

Was it a little immature to troll this random dude on the beach path?  Sure...but...I maintain that it was fun. 

And he started it. 


  1. Yep. This entire post is amazing.

  2. Why isnt there a Greek themed race? (or maybe there is and I dont know about it) It could be pretty fun :)

  3. Hilarious! I would have done the exact same thing if I were up. I am super overly competitive. Even on the gym TM. Don't dare try and run faster than me. Haha. :-)

  4. NO, that dude deserved it, cargo pants and all! Happened to me in SD in August with some stupid chic. She lost.

  5. I love it. If this is trolling, then I troll someone in every single race I run! Especially if they are wearing a costume. I will die before someone passes me in a costume!

  6. bahahaha i love it. i would have done the exact same thing, that's so annoying! i can't stand when people try and one up you even if they arent actually capable of doing so.

  7. Hahahaha this is awesome!

    Also, I 100% agree with the women's race thing! It annoys me a lot and is incredibly stereotypical.

  8. This same thing seriously happened to the group I was biking with on Sunday. Dude kept speeding up and looking behind him and we kept catching him. At a stop light we tried to say hello and he wouldn't even acknowledge us. I am glad you put this guy in his place! Damn male egos :)

  9. UGH I hate it when people do that to me in Central Park. Normally I try to keep my competitiveness in check but sometimes its war. The worst is when the person can't even really run and they speed up to sprint ahead then you pass them maintaining the same pace. Then it repeats like 10 times WHEN YOU ARE GOING THE SAME PACE. That is when I usually speed up just to get rid of the person (usually a guy) and once they are dropped go back to my normal pace.

  10. Haaaa. I hate shitty logistics, I don't care how great the race IDEA is.

    Also, if I were fast, I'd totally race everyone all the time. Just because.

  11. I take extreme pleasure in beating up on random dudes that have to run faster than a girl. It doesn't happen often but, when it does I am prepared to battle. Yeah it's totally immature but, they asked for it. It's also like when you are at the gym and the majority of the treadmills are empty but, some dude wants to hop on right next to you and they glance over at how fast you’re running.

  12. Not immature at all.

    My sister ran the NWM half. She didn't seem to enjoyed it much, too crowded, too many slow(er) runners and walkers lining up way too far up, etc. She said she had to yell "excuse me" or on "on your left" when trying to pass up people more than two dozen times. She also didn't seem to like the fact that Nike put up "run sexy" signs. What does that even mean?!

  13. The ONLY awesome all womens race I have run was the Dirt Inspires trail half-marathon in Aptos. It was dirty and gritty and affordable, and some TOUGH women came out. The shirt didn't say "I HAVE MENSTRUATION, MUST EAT CHOCOLATE AND TAKE P.E. CLASS EASY".

    Yeah, womens races. A Tiffanies necklace? Seriously, that's what got you through the finish line? That makes me feel sick.

    I would say the guy you were "trolling" had a right to be annoyed, except when he said "nah it's not like that" he turned into a major douche and you have the right to race him hereforth til the end of time.

  14. Totally agree about the stereotype.

    You are awesome. Dudebro is probably still sore from running.

  15. Hilarious. You rock! What an excellent strategy!

  16. Women's only races may be stereotyping but it's undeniable that more and more of these types of races are popping up because they are highly successful and are responsible for bringing more and more women to the sport of running. 20 years ago women made up only 25% of road racers compared to 55% now. How's that for progress?

    1. I'm not sure if it's a case of the chicken or the egg. Ie - are these races bringing women in or are they taking advantage of the new population opportunity. It's probably both, honestly.

      I have such mixed feelings on all of this and I get why these companies market as they just annoys the crap out of me. And it probably annoys me even more because it works so well!

  17. Dudebro.....ha!

    It must be sad to have to live with testosterone.

  18. is dudebro a word now!?!?!? i try to keep track of all the slanggggggg but it's so hard it changes so quickly now. i just learned the word "twee" i guess it means something cutesy?

  19. Tiffany's necklace?!? Lame. I was going to make a stupid "they might as well just pass out tampons" joke, but tampons are way more useful than a necklace.

    Once I started to accidentally race a girl on one of my normal runs. We just happened to be at a very similar pace and kept passing/catching up to each other. Finally I took out my headphones and asked if she was training for a race and she laughed and we wound up having an awesome chat for a mile or so! Solidarity!

    1. Fact: a girl race I ran last year had a tampon station at the porta potties.

    2. Dude that's a little gross. ;-)

  20. I'm always torn on the womens races...I like that they get women out and running, but some of us want to RACE and not have it just be about being active and finishing no matter what the time. As for JennyGirl above, back when my mom was in high school and college in the 60-70's, it was thought that women were too weak to do sports (other than cheerleading, of course) or if they ran that their uterus would fall out. I haven't had any of this in my life...I even played basketball on boys teams in elementary school since they didn't have girls teams...but I was still allowed to play. Twenty years ago, more men were running for competition than for fun.

    The tampon station...I would totally want one of those in a race! I've had friends carry them just in case my uterus decides to revolt and I can't last until the end of the race. (TMI? Also, god bless birth control for helping to get that situation under control. Okay, TMI, sorry sorry sorry.)

    Also, dear me, WE CAN RUN FASTER THAN YOU. IT'S FINE. you go.

  21. I think it's funny you asked him if he wanted to race. Either he had planned to do a tempo all along (in cargo shorts, no less), or, yeah, he didn't want to get passed by a girl. Anyway, he wasn't going to admit it. But I'll bet he thinks twice about "racing" a girl again now that he's been confronted.

  22. hysterical and true about women's races. I expect an entire blog post dedicated to it in the near future. Thank you in advance :)

  23. Jealous! That sounds like a fun run.

  24. i HATE douches...errrr, dudes like that! and i'm toasting u for ur intro there. it has always bugged me how race directs try to 'lure' women in...i mean the whole blinged out tiffany's trinkets makes me want to boycott the race rather than enter. and please don't get me started on running skirts. :P but i'm prolly gonna get some hate for that last one...

  25. Please tell me he was wearing flip flops...or Vans.

  26. I totally agree about the womens races, they bug me SO much. I prefer green, frankly. I would rather have a bacon sandwich than a cupcake. I am mortified on behalf of the firemen in tuxedos. They bug me SO much.

    My very sweet husband is actually violently anti them...if there were races for men only, with models in bikinis at the end, would we women tolerate that??? I think not.


  27. I ran a Zooma half marathon, which is women focused and we did get a necklace at the finish. Honestly it was a well run, competitive race (at least I was being competitive) and I wore the necklace that simply said "run" a lot more than I have worn any medal I've received. However I completely despise the color run and I got an email for a "dance party 5K" which actually said "The last thing you should worry about is your race time -- walkers are totally welcome, and the only prizes handed out will be for best costume, best dancer, and other light-hearted superlatives." I like dancing, but that is not something I can get behind. I don't really have a point other than, I like necklaces, haha.

  28. Oh my gosh - that was brilliant!!! I think it's great to beat the dudebros at their own games. During training runs or races, I get such a kick out of a guy I just passed picking it up to pass me back when it's clear they are struggling. I think friendly competition is healthy and never a bad idea to get a little extra workout in. Way to represent, girl!

  29. I have such mixed feelings about these women's only races. The stereotypes (princesses, purple, chocolate) put forth by these races just kill me. But on the other hand, they're low threshold for women who want to take part in a race, but don't consider themselves "real" runners. I wish somehow we could get these women to realize that they *are* real runners if they've trained to take part in a half marathon, 10K, etc.

    Anyway. If I was fast enough to have kept up with him, I totally would have raced that dude too!

  30. This is hilarious! I too have been on a run where a man is so upset that a woman passed him that he immediately speeds up to take the lead. I love that you stayed 10 feet behind him! That would really get his ego to the fullest. Not only can I pass you whenever I feel like it, but I can keep up with you and play games along the way. Nice! ;)